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  • Writer's pictureKelley Eckhardt

Facing your Ego

There’s no doubt about it, our ego gets in the way. Whether it stops us from doing things out of fear or it nudges us to complete something when we know deep down, we need to rest.

Everyone on this planet has a unique gift, and we were all given a purpose. If we were all to follow our individual purpose, collectively, we would unite, and the world would be a better place.

Our goal is to uncover our purpose and partake in our unique journey in our lifetime. Unfortunately, fear stops us from doing so, and fear stems from the egoic mind.

To find and take on our purpose journey, we need to listen to our intuition and feed our subconscious with positive affirmations. Most importantly, we need to have a healthy relationship with our ego.

When you do not listen to your body and let your ego take control, you can feel very burnt out. The egoic mind wants to achieve perfectionism, yet it also sabotages our future through feelings of fear.

Every traumatic and challenging situation that we do not heal, learn and, move on from adds to the big pile of unfinished business that fuels a big unhealthy ego. Our walls go up and create a barrier to attempt to stop hurting us any further.

When you did the most inner work and significant growth occurred, it would have generally occurred after a big life change that deeply upset you. This is a light shining on your egoic mind, bringing awareness that change is inevitable and reminds you that life is never going to be perfect.

Life is full of ebb and flows. We are all gifted with unique abilities and share a common goal in this life to find our purpose and live authentically.

To develop a great relationship with the ego, you must first understand the power of thought.

Power of Thought

The placebo effect is a genuine concept, strongly supported by research. The power of positive thinking has shown health outcomes in patients who are going through treatments. Don’t wait for your circumstances to change your beliefs; instead, change your thoughts before manifesting your desires and, in turn, changing your circumstances.

Rather than believe the negative thoughts in our head like I can’t do it, I’m not good enough; we need to be courageous if we want to allow our authentic self to shine through. We need to allow ourselves to question what we believe about our more profound sense of self.

Manifestation is a beautiful, powerful, and life-changing practice. If only attracting positive outcomes, you have nothing to lose. The only thing that is stopping you is you!

What is your Ego

The ego is the collection of every belief and identifications you have about the world and yourself. Your ego is an unconscious part of your mind.

The subconscious mind is the ego filtering and reacting to reality through all these beliefs and identifications.

Finding your true self, which thrives on love and intuition, requires separating the ego-mind, which thrives on fear and judgment.

When you were a child, you started life with an intuitive nature. Your instincts guided you through the early stages of your life even though you could not speak the language. Your level of consciousness was pure awareness.

Children have no filter and are yet to form their identity of who they are. Simply being comes naturally to children as they are in an ego-centric state. The world revolves around you in this state.

It is not until you are a teenager that you begin to think abstractly and observe the world outside of your own perspective. Your ego protects you and creates an identity as a coping mechanism. As you age, you unconsciously learn a range of values, positive and negative.

Unfortunately, many adults do not evolve from the ego-centric state, and they still believe that things are happening to them. When you have this frame of mind and think that you have no control over your life, ego work will be highly beneficial.

“Whatever you put out into the Universe, shall return to you.” Recognizing an unhealthy Ego

An unhealthy ego can show up in many different ways. If any of the below examples resonate with you, it does not mean you are a terrible person. Your inner child may be wounded, or a situation could have made you put up walls for protection.

Through awareness, self-love, and compassion, you can acknowledge these unhealthy patterns and begin to heal.

  • Unable to feel empathy or compassion

  • Fear of challenges and change

  • Taking everything personally

  • Feeling entitled and above others

  • Chasing perfectionism

  • Blaming others for your actions

  • Getting triggered easily

  • Defensive in confrontation situations

  • Reactive, not proactive

How to establish a good relationship with your ego

We were all created with an inner knowing, with strong intuition. Sadly, with many external factors and the busyness and noise surrounding us today, we can become so easily disconnected from our higher selves.

Over thousands of years, we have slowly lost ancient knowledge regarding how we humans naturally operate. Our connection with intuition and our higher self has been painted as “woo” topics, with so many people being skeptical of spirituality.

Whether you believe it or not, spirituality overall is about uplifting our vibration and changing our thoughts from negative to optimistic. When we reflect on who we are as a person, we can expand our knowledge about what human existence means in general.

We have to all understand that the thoughts we feed our subconscious are what creates our reality. When we allow our ego to control, it causes us to feel negative emotions, and we feel afraid. The ego uses our thoughts against us as a way to maintain the illusion of control.

With a balanced approach, our awareness and understanding can establish a great relationship with our ego. The below behaviors will bring us closest to humbleness and positive situations.

  • Self-Awareness is the crucial first step to recognizing unhealthy behaviors due to our egoic mind. We must acknowledge our actions before we make a change. Let your barriers down and take on the views of others about you without getting defensive. How do others find your nature? If you are having troubles within your relationships, remind yourself that your relationships mirror the relationship you have with yourself.

  • Understanding the ego is highly beneficial when you no longer want it to control your thoughts and create adverse outcomes. If ego thrives off fear and judgment, you must rewire your thoughts and feed your subconscious with positive affirmations. When you continue to provide your subconscious with positive thoughts, you will begin to believe them. When you are feeling nervous or afraid, take a moment to recognize these emotions and affirm in your mind that these feelings are passing and do not bind you.

  • Listen to your intuition as it does not lie. Intuition is an ability to understand or know something without needing to think about it or use reason to discover it or a feeling that shows this ability. Intuition is like the language of your soul and, it only wants to experience love. It may show up as a gentle nudge, a gut feeling, a sensation, inner knowing, or a voice that you hear speaking. With practice, you can recognize the inner voice of ego and the inner voice of intuition and listen only to the messages coming from a place of love.

  • Re-parenting your inner child. As children, we learn behaviors and boundaries, how to process emotions, and, unfortunately, unhealthy patterns. Re-parenting is about going back to the harmful things we learned and as children and almost unlearning them. It’s the act of giving yourself what you didn’t receive as a child. The rewiring allows you to build healthy values consciously and move on from old notions.

  • Healthy Boundaries help you to care and put yourself first. They allow you to have better relationships and receive positivity and love, which no longer feed your ego. When we have trust within our relationships, our walls no longer need to stand tall and protect us. We feel free to live authentically without judgment.

  • Unpacking your triggers is another great self-awareness tool. Behind every trigger is an experience in the past that made us feel very unsafe, anxious, or insecure. These experiences are what lead to becoming very guarded and, once again, feeds the ego. Unpacking triggers allow us to identify and acknowledge the unpleasant experience and move on from it. If we continue to ignore a problem, it will never go away; it comes back more powerful.

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